Everywhere Signs

If you can't read the yellow sign on the propped-open door, don't feel bad; perhaps the store employees couldn't read it, either.

It reads: "THIS DOOR MUST REMAIN CLOSED AT ALL TIMES"

Say What?

I just returned from a day of jury duty. I was not selected for the case, but I sat through a day of jury selection that proved to me once again that: Most people in this situation are quite honest and dedicated, and a very few are unworthy of the right to vote. Naturally, I can't say anything about the case, because it is still ongoing.

But entering and exiting the courthouse in downtown San Francisco, I passed the desk pictured above. It is, as you can see, a completely empty desk with a sign on it that says "Self-Help Information Desk."

Huh? Do you go up to the desk and say to yourself, "Excuse me, how do I get to courtroom 602? Oh, just take the elevator on the right and follow the hall to the end. Oh, thank me. I'm welcome."

I Hate Mosquitoes

I really do.

(Wait. I intended this post to be about those annoying bugs that buzz near my ear at night and wake me up, forcing me to go on a midnight hunt for the stupid little insect hidden somewhere in my room. But when I did a search in Google to find something to which I can link this post, I found a Facebook "I hate mosquitoes" page that appears to be mainly female porn-star related – I mean, geez, I'm gay and I hate small biting insects, so how much more useless can this all get? – and apparently there's some stupid game with this name or theme?? I mean, really, folks. Is nothing sacred? Must we warp every simple insect-hatred phrase into a meme for porn or online gaming?)

Oh, here's one. Though the guy who wrote it is probably quite weird. Just saying.

Oh, and this site includes the miserable information that there are 100 trillion – bloody hell, yes, TRILLION – mosquitoes in the world today. Can't Obama take care of anything?

Who Gets the Space Shuttle Atlantis When It's Put out of Commission?

The Atlantis space shuttle returns to earth very soon, completing its final mission. The other two shuttles – Challenger and I forget the other name... Pegasus? Reagan? Millennium Falcon? whatever – also each have one last flight to make before the entire fleet (if three spaceships can be called a fleet and not an affectation) is retired.

So my question of the day: Who gets the Atlantis when it's done doing its work? Does it get sold to some Russian billionaire? A Saudi billionaire? Chinese billionaire? (After the recent near-depression, do we have any American billionaires left? I mean for real, not on paper?)

Are we going to see the shuttle refurbished and used as an amusement park, some sort of space-themed restaurant? Will a Russian billionaire buy Atlantis and a Chinese billionaire buy the Challenger, and they'll play aerial battles against each other? (Um, that would be cool, but probably impractical; besides, I'm sure NASA will remove all of the photon torpedoes and laser banks before selling the ships).

While the national "news" media wastes its time covering so-called stories such as financial reform and the Afghanistan war, this real news is just waiting to be explored and reported. Hello, PBS NewsHour?

Can This Marriage Be Saved? Crack User Burns Husband's Playboys

A woman who claims she needed more money from her husband set his collection of Playboy magazines on fire, then called 911 to report the blaze. At first she denied setting the fire, according to reports, but fire officials immediately ruled it arson, and a lot of evidence pointed to her. Her crack cocaine paraphernalia in the bedroom didn't help her case, surprisingly.

This probably puts an end to all the claims by drug users that it helps them be more creative and think more clearly. Consider this: If she needed more money, why didn't she haul his magazines to a used bookstore and sell 'em?