Fun with Blagojevich

When former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich was charged with a zillion corruption charges, I told some colleagues that I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't convicted. The reason was that, in the absence of a powerful new political force in Illinois, there would be few people willing to testify or convict a governor for shaking down the state's businesses and citizens. Those shake-downs have been occurring for too long, and they simply are seen as the way business is done in that state.

I don't like corrupt politicians – in fact, it annoys me deeply in my Wisconsin-bred heart and soul – but I simply don't think Illinois is going to go through a great awakening of political and social reform that will make the state government operate in a transparent and clean manner. (BTW, if you want a fascinating and at times jaw-dropping story of Chicago corruption and amusing reform movements, check out the book Sin  in the Second City.) Don't forget that Blago himself got into the governor's chair by campaigning as an anti-corruption reformer.

It's how Illinois operates. It's how Chicago operates. And the fact is that I think most Chicagoans and most Illinoisans figure the system runs pretty well. You know, you never want to see legislation or sausage being made. Chicago's got its problems (crime is stubbornly bad, for example), but it's a great city with so much going for it. Take away the current Great Recession-related financial problems, and Illinois doesn't have too much to complain about.

So for all of us good-government types, this should be horribly depressing. And yet, I'm not depressed.

I can't quite explain why. Perhaps living in Chicago in the 1990s corrupted my reformist's heart. But whatever's the case, I make this prediction: Little will change in Chicago locally or Illinois statewide in terms of how business is done with the government. Some new rules and laws will be put into place. They'll be adhered to in word if not in deed. And the state will continue sending a high percentage of governors to jail.

Fun fact: The lawyer for a 1920s Illinois governor charged with corruption – who was himself a former governor – argued that Illinois governors enjoyed the divine right of kings. Laughable as that is, was Blagojevich's in-your-face legal counter-offensive any less brash?

The Ultimate Popular Blog Post

Okay, so a blog dedicated to writing mostly about the magazine industry isn't going to get me millions of readers each day. Some days my traffic is fine, but far too many days it's very low. So, in the interests of getting people to come to my blog based on their keyword searches, I've decided to write the Ultimate Popular Blog Post.

It can be difficult to find time to write exciting blog posts, because, as my celebrity friend Paris Hilton would certainly tell you if she was indeed my friend and I don't care that she's not because now I can put "Paris Hilton" as one of my keywords, there are many distractions on the web. You know, all that sex (keyword!) and violence (and so on!) can be very difficult to ignore.

I am, of course, trying to learn from President Barack Obama, who, like Nelson Mandela, is a serious man and a popular keyword devoted to constitutional law. I sometimes think that our president, if he were here with me, would say, "John, do you think the White Sox will win the AL Central this year?" Yes, strange words from the most powerful man in the world, but I decide he might be worth an answer. I mean, he's no Anna Kournikova or Pamela Anderson (did you see her in the Borat movie? Was she a great keyword or what?!?), but he is from one of my favorite cities, Chicago (you know, Rod Blagojevich's old stomping grounds), where there is much sex and other keywords taking place EVERY DAY.

Sarah Palin would not like my mention of sex, of course. She recently resigned from her office as governor of some third world land, but she still wants to have an impact on hot national issues such as abortion, gay marriage, Sen. Larry Craig. Okay, Craig's made up (such a man could not really exist, could he? Wonder what he'd think if he was on the Senate Judiciary Committee hearing the nomination pleas of Sonia Sotomayor....) She's no American Idol, but plenty of Christian home schoolers think she's the cat's pajamas, so she'll be a major player for years. Like Bill Clinton.

That was kind of nude -- I mean rude of me, wasn't it? Politicians, after all, get a bum rap, because they have to be somewhat boring so we trust them with running the world. They can't party it up like Hugh Hefner or any number of young playmates he must party with. (We'll assume there are no drugs at the parties, which gives me at least one more keyword.)

In the end, listening to famous people give me advice on my blog is probably silly. George Clooney knows Darfur, not bloggin'. I'm sure Matt Damon feels the same way. (Did you ever wonder if Clooney and Damon are pals in real life, just like the movies where they chum around with Julia Roberts and other huge Hollywood stars?)

Okay, I'm outta ideas. I'll stick to magazines in the future. Didja all know that BusinessWeek is for sale? Oh, you did? Hell.

Illinois Governor Blagojevich Arrested; Feds 2, Illinois Governors 0

Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich (D) recently urged President George W. Bush to commute the sentence of Blagojevich's predecessor, George Ryan (R), who was convicted of various crimes. No word yet on that pardon, but Blago (as he's known to his legions of enemies) may be in need of a pardon himself. This morning came the shocking news that Blagojevich has been "taken into custody" by federal agents as the result of an undercover investigation of a broad array of corrupt practices. Apparently, the guv was trying to sell the U.S. Senate seat being vacated by President-Elect Barack Obama.

Even in Illinois, that's illegal.

Read the charges and the latest updates. I won't reiterate them here.

I will, however, note that as a born-and-bred Wisconsinite (now living on the West Coast), this does somewhat amuse me. After all, in various social studies and civics classes on good government (and in Wisconsin, most social studies and civics classes are good government classes), New York's Tammany Hall and Chicago, Illinois, were the go-to topics to demonstrate the perils of unclean and corrupt government, influence-peddling, low-morals, etc., etc., etc.

Two consecutive Illinois governors have now been arrested. It'd be funny if ... no, it's funny.