Friday, January 15, 2010

Jay Leno Is Admiral James T. Kirk, Conan O'Brien is Commander Decker

Jay Leno had the perfect job. Every weeknight, he told jokes and entertained guests and his audiences for an hour on The Tonight Show. Then, for some unknown reason, NBC decided to promote him off the show, which they gave to Conan O'Brien, who never seemed up to the task (and certainly didn't entertain a large enough audience to keep people happy). So O'Brien announces his exit from NBC and The Tonight Show almost ASAP, and Leno gets to assume the helm of The Tonight Show once again, leaving behind the sad memories of his short-lived 10 pm comedy show.

Remind anyone else of Star Trek: The Motion Picture? Admiral James Tiberius Kirk had been talked into giving up command of the starship Enterprise in return for a desk job at Starfleet HQ. But the new Enterprise captain, Willard Decker, though he had waited and waited and earned his spot in the captain's chair, was deemed unsuited for handling the big threat heading toward Earth: Angry network affiliates. Er, wait, I mean V'ger, a massive cloud ship that destroyed and consumed everything in its way. Kirk schemed behind the scenes at Starfleet to get back command of his ship, and Decker was fobbed off in an arranged marriage with V'ger.

So Leno and Kirk both got what they wanted, even though it created a lot of ill-will between them and O'Brien/Decker.

Yes, I realize this means FOX is V'ger, the giant robot spacecraft strong enough to destroy planets but too stupid to scrape dirt off its sign and read that it's name is "Voyager."


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