2012 Predictions: My Latest Northside San Francisco Column

Here is my column in the January 2012 edition of Northside San Francisco magazine, available online and in print across San Francisco.

Common KnowledgeSurprise Me in 2012
By John Zipperer 

A few decades ago The Commonwealth Club began each year by hosting a local psychic, who would make predictions about world events in the year ahead. For example, psychic Barbara Mousalam’s forecast for 1984 included the prediction that Soviet leader Yuri Andropov “will pull some dramatic antics during the first part of 1984, but he will settle down.” True enough; he died in early 1984 and settled down permanently.  

For 1985 Mousalam predicted further change ...

Read the entire column

Okay, Cross off "Asteroid Impact" from List of 2012 Earth-Ending Disasters

It turns out that we might not be at the mercy of unknown life-ending asteroid collisions any longer, at least after Monday, when NASA launches its WISE telescope. WISE -- aka Wide-field Infrared Survey Explorer -- will search for objects that give off any heat.

National Public Radio notes:

WISE should find many previously unseen asteroids, including ones that might be threatening to smack into Earth. Amy Mainzer, deputy project scientist for WISE, says a visible light telescope tends to see sunlight bouncing off of bright, shiny asteroids, but WISE will be able to detect dark asteroids that would go unnoticed — even if they're large. She says a dark asteroid may stand out more when WISE takes a look, "because what you're seeing is the heat that's being radiated from the asteroid."

That's good news for everyone worrying that the Mayans might have been correct and that civilization will end in 2012. We can cross off "asteroid impact" from the list of possible causes of that mythical catastrophe. That still leaves worldwide pandemics, economic meltdowns, nuclear holocaust, and presidential elections.

(Photo courtesy NASA/JPL-Caltech/Space Dynamics Lab)

WISE, by the way, is a pretty cool contraption. As you can see in the photo above from NASA, it's encased in a hydrogen ice-cooled container so it doesn't mistakenly read its own heat signature.

Once launched, WISE will circle earth's poles, "scanning the entire sky one-and-a-half times in nine months. The mission will uncover hidden cosmic objects, including the coolest stars, dark asteroids and the most luminous galaxies," according to NASA.

2012 Movie Review: Cheesehead Disaster Flick?

2012 is the latest (and allegedly final) disaster movie from Roland ("Independence Day," "The Day After Tomorrow") Emmerich, the German-born blockbuster director.

His fans shouldn't feel left out, though. If you've seen one disaster movie, you've pretty much seen them all. World ends. Some people survive (usually). Much unlikely stuff occurs. Giant things crash into smaller things, some excellent special effects take place, and the heroes make some impossible escapes. Same thing here.

There are some nice touches. John Cusack does a good job with a pretty uninteresting role, as the divorced father of two who is forced to come to their rescue -- and to the rescue of his ex-wife and her new husband. Danny Glover is okay as the president, who has to decide whether to go with the chosen escapees or to stay behind with the vast majority of the American people to meet his doom from the planet-wide disaster.

That's a key choice, even if his particular decision isn't key to anything in this movie. Basically, 2012 sets up an unfair conflict, in which the audience is expected to share the moral outrage of one of the heroes about people who are not allowed onto the arks that will protect a small minority of the population. It's false, because if there are only a certain number of slots available on the arks (and the film offers no other option), then only a minority will survive in any case. It's Sophie's Choice on a vast scale in any case, but one of the heroes throws a hissy fit right at a critical time, causing a delay in the launch of one of the arks and nearly killing many more people.

But it's silly of me or anyone to expect a philosphical masterpiece in a film, much less in a disaster film. So if you can turn off your brain for two hours and 38 minutes, then you will likely enjoy this movie. Despite my qualms above, I was able to enjoy it as the brick-stupid movie it is.

But I have one question: What's the deal with Wisconsin? It crops up quite a few times in this movie. Did the moviemakers not like the state? Or are they doing a friendly shout-out to it?

Then again, I'm from Wisconsin originally, so maybe others won't notice that.